To be honest, this week has been really hard. Really exciting, but really, really hard. SO many more questions than answers right now.

God give me patience. And wisdom. A lot of wisdom would be good, too.

Love, Christian

This was originally way, way longer.

At this very moment, there is something happening in the Crossroads College student center which I believe so, so much in: Students gathering and paying money to participate in something that they could totally do any other night, for free. But they choose to give money [for Haiti], because they believe in something bigger than themselves. They believe that they can make a difference in the lives of people they will never, ever meet here on earth. I think that's tremendous, momentous and 27 colors of incredible.
I said I was going to be there. I told people I would be there. I RSVP'd “attending” on Facebook. But here I am, sitting in bed, laptop on my lap top, writing. Why? I shouldn't be here. I'm an extravert. I love groups of people. My spirit feasts on the energy of laughter and smiles and conversation and happiness. But I'm not there. I'm here. Alone.

Shhhh.

Truth be told, my heart, mind, body, soul, spirit and ears (oh, the ears! If only they could be closed as easily as the eyes!) are all yearning for something, demanding it in such a way that it cannot be ignored. Not tonight. That would be a mistake. I don't know why, but I know it would. Tonight, what I need is silence. No music. No people. No conversation. No Facebook. No homework (God knows I get enough of that whether I want it or not.). Silence. Shhhhhh. Listen to it! That nothingness you hear? That's the sound of Restoration. Peace. Recharging. Please, I beg of you- accept it. Embrace it. Learn to like it. And after that, learn to love it. Love it so that you can notice and catch all it's subtleties and moments of tiny grandeur. Love it so you can recognize it instantly when it calls. Because when it calls, it has so, so, so much to say. Listen to it.

Silence.

Shedding light on my attention to heavy music

(Note to those of you reading this on Facebook- this blog is imported via RSS from my blog at christianisachristian.blogspot.com The blog version has links to a ton of songs and stuff that the facebook note doesn't have.)

11:11pm, central standard time (make a wish!). I've got a CLEP test at 8:30 tomorrow morning, so I'll try and keep this short(ish) but I have been thinking quite a bit about this topic, so we'll see where it goes. Plus, I just really love music. Talking about it, writing about it, singing it, listening to it, thinking about it, dreaming about it, evaluating it... you get the picture.

I've counted myself a fan of most heavy music (anything involving singing, screaming, growling, shrieking, and other varied vocal utterances [and any combination of the aforementioned] performed over grinding, chugging guitars with occasional solos and double or triple kick drumming) for *thinks* probably four and a half to five years. Dead Poetic's excellent album New Medicines (2004, SolidState Records) was my first real purchase of a hard music album, and I just kinda broke into the scene gently from there. I enjoyed it all- the scene-friendly sounds of Underoath, Norma Jean, and The Devil Wears Prada, the more straight-laced modern heavy metal of Becoming the Archetype, and the patchwork of influences that make up bands like He Is Legend and mewithoutYou. I loved it. Correction. I love it. The use of past tense is improper in that context, because I do still love hard music. It's full of incredible, powerful, momentous music. There is an undeniably impressive amount of talent and thought put into some of the artistry found in the heavy music scene (if you look in the right places). For a while, heavy music made up between 20 and 30 percent of my entire music collection. I'd listen to it, indulge in it, experience it, become energized by it.

But 2009 was different. I don't know when it happened, but the amount of heavy music I listened to began to precipitously decline. Albums that I used to be able to listen to beginning to end- and then all the way through again- I now could only get three or four tracks into. It just didn't captivate me the way it used to. What happened? Why? I've been thinking about this as I reflect on 2009, and I came up with a couple ideas, neither of which I am settled upon as being fully representative of the truth of the matter.

1. My tastes changed. 2009 was the year that I kinda left everything else (musically) in the dust and returned to a whole-hearted loving embrace (a bear hug, really) of the melody. Don't get me wrong, I've always loved a strong hook, but '09 was different somehow. I got (back) into anything that was filled with melody. Coldplay, Belle and Sebastian, Ben Folds, Rosie Thomas, Sufjan Stevens, The Beatles, Eisley, and most importantly Copeland. Heck, I even got into classical music! I enjoyed it in my earlier years, but more as a matter of principle than of pleasure. That's all changed now, (as a side note, I only see that trend growing in 2010) and I count songs such as Mozart's Overture to the Marriage of Figaro among my current favorites. SO, what does all this have to do with heavy music? Not much. And that's the point. In all honesty, while I love the energy and passion of heavy music, the amount of melodies to be found in that world- especially those easily replicated through singing or humming- are few and far between in most cases. In my opinion, one has to leave the dark, thick heart of the heavy music scene and stray more towards the fringes to find a good variety of melodies. Of course there are exceptions- I think Chiodos and Blindside do an exceptional job with melody, as well as Demon Hunter. But for the most part, in 2009, more often than not, I wanted to hear a good melody, and when I did, well, I didn't go running to bands like As I Lay Dying.

2. The “art reflects life” idea. The concept as it applies to me personally, is this: Things really went swell for much of last year for me, and I found myself looking for upbeat and bright music to add to my joy. Don't get me wrong, I do not, now that life is aglow, frown at or look with disdain upon heavy music as though it were the musical embodiment of all things evil, trouble, depressing and otherwise gloomy, but based on my own personal experience of the past few years, and doing my best to look at it at least relatively objectively, I do believe there is a moderate to strong connection between the level of my inner calmness, peace, emotions, thoughts, etc. and my preference for a particular musical style or genre. This one I've really been turning over back and forth in my head, because I think if it's more accurate than the previous idea, it opens up a whole different box of thoughts on a very different level, one that I don't care to get into here. So let us move on.

3. A shift towards a preference for strong song writing. This idea I'm not super keen on, because of the three, I think it's the farthest from hitting the bulls eye on the matter, but it may play a small role. As I've gotten older (all of 21 years, ha!) and more settled as a whole (and another ha!), I'd like to believe that I'm better able to not only chew on, but swallow and digest lyrics and ideas that several years ago wouldn't do much more than go in the ear drum, get to the brain, and then make me go “What? What does that mean?” It's been my experience with heavy music that one will find one of two extremes: very simplistic lyrics with only an occasional phrase or idea to perk the ears and mind, or lyrics so foggily shrouded in metaphor that it is nearly impossible to find a starting point from which to decipher them. Add all this to the fact that in not a few cases, the lyrics are rather hard to understand without the help of lyrics from a web site or CD booklet. Again, don't get me wrong, I'm as much a fan of that deep, guttural growl or insanely high shriek as the next metalhead, I would just prefer vocalists not sacrifice ALL form of enunciation to achieve it. But that's a whole different topic. Song writing... yes, I just find myself with a deeper appreciation for a well penned song than in years past.

So where does that leave me? I dunno. It's just a loose collection of thoughts and ideas. I don't really hold to any of them too dearly. >shrug<>

Which reminds me, I got the new Switchfoot album for Christmas, and it's got some GREAT hooks in it. Especially “Your Love is a Song.” :)

A lame attempt at a blog post.

The reasons that I don't blog with near the amount of regularity that I wish I did are several.

First of all, time. I find myself with seemingly increasingly less of that commodity (and yet the days are still a full 24 hours in length!), and my first interests and priorities when I DO find some spare time generally lie elsewhere than upon spewing loosely organized thoughts onto the world wide web. The second reason that comes to mind, and this is very, very bothersome to me, is that when I sit down to write a blog, I have a very difficult time deciding on a topic that I feel is well worth taking my time to organize my thoughts into coherence and some semblance of meaning, and then transpose them from the script I have laid out in my mind to the blank document that all my blogs digital forms originate from. Add to this the complication that often times, just when I find myself settled on an individual topic, a new idea or thought pops up which I perceive as being equally as valid a topic as the one which I had originally intended to write about! Take as example, the several items which at this very moment (3:04am, central daylight time, January 6, 2010) are things I have at least a nominal interest in writing about:

1. The fact that it is now five days until the start of the second semester, and my sleep schedule is royally screwed up! I need to get this thing straightened out, and be right quick about it!

2. My waning interest in politics vs. my waxing interest in Jesus Christ and the reasons for such a shift. (Phil L., if you read this by chance, don't think for a moment that I'll ever alter myself so much as to share your views on the matter. Not happening. Love you, man!)

3. How hardcore/metal/screamo/heavy music was extremely under-represented in my listening habits over 2009 compared with the previous two years, and the reasons behind this.

4. How much I am looking forward to 2010.

5. What I thought of 2009.

6. My love/hate relationship with Social Media.

On each of these topics I really, truly do want to write, and so many other ideas have come and gone from my brain in the past months (really, if you're going to keep a blog, seven months is FAR too long to go without blogging).

.......(minutes go by and I watch a video my friend was just tagged in on Facbeook).........

Ugh. The fact that it's nearly 3:30am just caught up with me. Brain. melt. Can't put together sentences in any way that I'll be happy with. Time for sleep. And dreaming of a time when I'll be a more efficient and proficient blogger.

yeah right.

Today's Big Story- Mark Sanford

This story is just too weird to not write about, and the more I write, the more I research, and the more I research, the more I write. Here goes.

MARK SANFORD. Ok, so I was just about to start writing a few brief thoughts on this story, and I did a quick Google News search just to double check my facts on this story, and low and behold, it’s gotten even weirder. Sanford, the governor of South Carolina and one of the top names mentioned when discussing GOP 2012 presidential contenders, went missing- like, totally gone- last Thursday, June 18. It didn’t really make news for a few days, but when Father’s Day weekend came and went with no sign of him, a few news outlets began to take notice. Sanford finally made contact with the media yesterday evening, and it was first reported that he had been hiking- alone- on the Appalachian Trail. Reports said that he needed time to clear his head and do some writing. Well, now the story has completely changed- we then heard this morning that he was found at the Atlanta International Airport (some 220 miles from the capitol in Columbia, S.C.), after returning from a trip to Buenos Aires (which is nearly 5,000 miles from Columbia, if you draw a straight line connecting the points). And just a short while ago, at 2pm, he announced that he has been having an affair with an Argentinean woman for the past year, and that his wife has known about it for the past five months.

I find this story extremely curious. First of all, how does a state governor, a husband and a father of four sons not tell ANYbody, including his wife (who claims she didn’t know where he was) that he was going to be gone for six days, over Fathers Day? Even if he was actually having an affair, wouldn’t you at least say SOMEthing, to cover for yourself, rather than just disappear?

Second, Sanford claims that the decision to go to Buinos Aires was “last minute.” But that would mean that he also bought airline tickets last minute. Orbitz shows that a next-day, one-way, non-stop ticket to Buenos Aires is nearly $1,600 on Delta. Pretty pricey. Now, I don’t have any facts or links to back this up, but I’ve heard that when tickets are bought at the last minute, you are far more likely to be selected for random security searches. If this is so, how did he escape notice? Now it’s possible that he was not chosen for a security search, but either way, shouldn’t someone- airport security, airport or airline employee, or a random traveler- have noticed the governor of South Carolina was in the area? If he took a public flight, he would have had to go through the normal screening process, especially if he was alone. And he definitely would have had to be alone, because remember, NOBODY knew where he was for almost a full week. Not his wife, not his sons, not his security guards, not the legislature, not the media- nobody. What gives?

Third, how does a state governor- and a rather well-known one at that- carry on an alleged affair for a whole year with a woman 5,000 miles away? I would say it is darn near impossible that Sanford could have done this, unless she was in the country for every single one of their supposed meetings save for this most recent. We’ll have to see if her name comes up in the following hours and days here. If not, I will remain in some doubt towards the story that this is all true.

There are other loose ends to this story including:
-A report that he and his wife had been going through marriage counseling prior to this.
-An abandoned black Suburban turning up at the Columbia, S.C. airport that matches a description of the one Sanford was last seen in before his disappearance. Keep in mind that Sanford turned up in Atlanta, which means that he would have had to take a flight (or catch a ride with someone who isn’t talking yet) from Columbia to Atlanta. While it is hard to believe that he would not have been recognized in the Atlanta airport, it is nearly unfathomable that there were zero reported sightings of him in the airport of the capitol city of his own state.

The final word from me: While this may very well all play out and be uncovered to be the true story, I am not 100% convinced that Mark Sanford has been in an extra-marital affair. There are too many factors that do not yet add up.

Another interesting link, showing the timeline of this story.

Thoughts in Text

This blog could go many, many different directions, since there are many, many different things running through my head right now about a lot of different stuff, but I’ll just keep it narrowed down to the ones that will scratch my itch to write.

MUSIC: I would like to recommend to each of you the new album by Philadelphia, PA’s mewithoutYou. They just released a brand new album on May 19, 2009, titled It’s All Crazy! It’s All False! It’s All a Dream! It’s All Right. This album is lush with lyrical lines of limitless genius, and the musical landscape is a well suited match. There are influences from hard rock, classic rock, eastern music, American indie rock, and I believe my ears have possibly detected a jazz influence or two. It’s a great album that I am still enjoying and will for quite some time.

BOOKS: I recently finished H.G. Well’s The Time Machine. I’m not really sure if I read an abridged or unabridged version, because the book did not say either way. I’ve heard it’s one of the giants of the science fiction world, but upon finishing it, I can’t bring myself to agree. It was a good story, with excellent writing in both form and content to be sure, but I can think of several fiction books which have better held my attention. Nonetheless, I did finish the book, and would not vehemently deter potential readers from its pages. It was just a pretty good story. Not much more, not much less.

FOOD: I’ve had the pleasure of dining at a number of local eateries in the past months, and would like to give praise to Noodles and Company for having an absolutely fantastic meal. I ordered the Pesto Pavatappi with chicken from the Mediterranean section of the menu, and in minutes I was delivered an excellent dish bursting with flavor. Props also go to this clean restaurant for their selection of Izze brand sodas, which are made without any high fructose corn syrup or other additives. I had a great experience and look forward to my next meal at Noodles and Company!

MONEY: Now, there are many, many things I could write about just on the topic of money, but what I’m thinking of specifically is how nice it is to have some expendable income right now. Since moving back home for the summer, I’ve been able to live a bit more of a leisurely lifestyle, rather than having to pinch and watch every penny like I typically do during the school year. Cutting your rent and doubling your income is always a good idea. It is because of this that I have been able to enjoy dining out more, using that money to invest not only in some good food, but also in the time to build and strengthen friendships with some of my closest friends.

LOCAL LIFE: I’ve really gotten to appreciate my summer work schedule. It’s a beautiful split shift, 7-11am, and 2-6pm. I don’t start too early, and I don’t get off too late by any means, and I have a great 3 hour lunch break every day! This has allowed me to embrace the local business social life that comes with living in the Med City. I’d like to highlight a couple things here. First of all, Thursdays on First. Thursday, June 11 was my first time attending this event, which takes place on 1st Ave SW in downtown Rochester. It was a delightful multisensory experience to see the many food vendors, kiosks and local businesses showing off their wares as literally thousands of people crowded the Peace Plaza to have a look. I personally enjoyed a deliciously fresh fruit smoothie, which I purchased from a vendor. I also swung by Hannes Menswear, where I ran into my friends Matt and Emily, both of whom I hadn’t seen in a while. Thursdays on First is the best thing to happen to Rochester since, well, the inception of Rochesterfest. Speaking of Rochesterfest, it’s next week! I eagerly anticipate wandering downtown, again taking in the sites and sounds of our beautiful city.

Go LOCAL!

Just wanted to take a few minutes to blog about my fantastic experience at Silver Lake Foods, a locally owned and operated grocery store here in Rochester, right on North Broadway at the Silver Lake Shopping Center. I'm going over to Matt's house tonight for his post-grad party, and had to pick up some hot dog buns for the event. I was contemplating where to go, either Silver Lake Foods, because it's right by work, or Wal-Mart, because it was mostly on the way to Matt's house after work. I ended up choosing Silver Lake because I had just enough time before I needed to be at work, and because of the size difference of the stores, when considering the one item I needed.

Here is my experience: I walked in the door, and less than five seconds after entering the store, I was greeted with a friendly smile by an employee who asked me how I was doing, and if he could help me. I told him I was doing pretty good, and that I was looking for hot dog buns. He smiled and said "sure!" and immediately left his job of stocking shelves to personally guide me back to the baked goods section, where he handed me a package of fresh baked hot dog buns that were delivered from the Gingerbread House that same day. I thanked him and walked up to check out. I found a totally empty aisle, and was checked out in moments. The clerk, who had returend to stocking his shelf, waved at me again as I was leaving, and I again thanked him for his friendly assistance. It was a fantastic experience, and as I drove to work, I reflected on how, in no possible way, would I have received the same quality or speed of treatment, had I gone to Wal Mart.

BUY LOCAL!